CHANGE

If there was one thing about your childhood you could go back and change what would it be?

Its kinda personal but its the one thing I would change

My parents divorce

I really enjoy my life now, but it would be interesting to see how different things would've turned out where I used to live

My school results.

I would change the time I was playing with my GI Joe action figures and decided to use poison ivy leaves to pretend like the soldiers were hiding in the jungle...

Probably nothing, it was very good. I lived in a Cleaver type home with 4 older brothers.

I would have insisted that my parents let me get guitar lessons would be the only thing id change

I wouldn't change a thing from my childhood either.

I wish we wouldn't have changed churches and theology's all the time...My parents changed churches at least 20 times while I was growing up...That screws with a kids head... In fact I think it has had a huge bearing on my views to this day..

This is impossible to answer with just one, there are too many things that would need to be changed:
1.  My mom can get real mad real fast.  This has caused a lot of problems.  Caused anxiety for me!  Had to see a therapist.  When I told her she was the cause, she got mad.  Then she listened and started to cry.  Guess what?  She realized she screwed me up.
2.  My mom ignored my family with the guaranteed understanding growing up that we were second to everyone.
3.  My mom babysat for a while and that was a complete and utter nightmare, it sort of rolls into 2, but still, it was a big thing that alone almost caused my dad to demand a divorce.  She always says how much she loved it.  I always tell her to shut up when she talks about it.  Is that respectful of my mom to say?  No, but she built her best times around the family's misery and ignored it.  She quit saying how much she liked it.
4.  My mom was just inattentive.  She "cared" for us, but sort of in the way a slave master "cares" for a slave.  Sure, he doesn't want the slave to die, he wants him to live, but that's it.  She did a few things with us, but literally, we were a side issue.  She may say she cared for us growing up, but no one except her believes it.  In her defense, my grandparents did a number on her.
5.  My mom didn't like my dad.  My mom constantly thinks my dad is cheating on her.  When's this supposed to happen?  When he's not at work, he's at home.  She's delusional.
6.  My mom took us to church and she church hopped a lot.  How do you cope with changing churches every year?  We hard no stable institution in which to go and we had no friends from it.  It was a nightmare.
7.  My dad didn't like my mom.  They don't share money, don't share accounts, don't share anything.  My dad thinks my mom cheats on him and...I'm pretty sure everyone else did believe that at one point.  She would disappear for a while at a time, sometimes overnight, saying she was at friend's houses in Phoenix, but would she answer her phone?  No.
8.  My dad was attentive, but he was more of the "I want to be their friend, not their boss" father.  My brothers and I could have used a lot of discipline.  
9.  My dad's not a Christian.  He says he believes in Jesus and that's about it.  That's not Christianity.  Reading your Bible isn't Christianity either.  I can just as easily pick up a koran and read that, but it doesn't make me a muslim.  I wish he would get rid of his stupid beliefs, but at least he's closer to it than his dad was.
10. My brothers and I hated each other.  My mom babied my youngest brother, he was bullied by us as a result.  She'd yell at I and the middle one to do stuff, but the youngest?  He didn't need to do a thing.  We were more allies out of convenience.
11. I hated life, hated everything about it, there were no redeeming qualities.
12. We moved to an area where my middle brother and I made no real friends for a few years.  The middle one still has no friends there.  It's sad.

That all being said, I'm not sure what I'd change.  If something did change.  How would that change me?  Would I be in a different place and would I being going towards what God wants me to do?  I don't know.  He's shown me what will happen and has made it clear I'm where I need to be.  I guess, I would change whatever I could to get my middle brother to God.  The youngest one will get there, but the middle I worry about.

1.  I'd change the fact that I didn't know how to deal with people and I'd bust a couple of the bullies in the nose.

2.  I'd have our family in a slightly larger house.  I hated living in a trailer and being called "poor white trailer trash".

3.  I don't know that I would change a lot other than those things.  I like where I am today.

Another great question/thread!

I'd change a lot of things ...

But for now I'd say that I would have dated a girl ... she liked me, but I was too shy to respond to her. So I missed out on experiencing a relationship with her.

I ended up marrying someone else a few years later ... and she's a nice person. But I'm not sure that I married the 'right one' if you know what I mean.

We went through a divorce a few years ago - only to get back together again (for the kid's sake). And when I read Hardcore's post - it makes me think I made the right decision. Still ... something seems missing in my life. We are not 'in love'. Only living as roommates for our kid's sakes.

I pray everyday as to what to do.



For now - I am spending as much time with my kids as possible. Just focusing on them.

I can't help but sometimes think ... that Crystal was the one for me. But I blew it.

I would want to go back to my friend who had DMD and committed suicide when the condition became really hard for him. I'd try to spend more time with him and I'd try even harder to guide him to Christ. I loved him like a brother. But he's gone. I'd give much for more time with him. He was my friend.

As tempting as it is to want to go back and change the past, I'm not sure it would be a good idea even if I could. My mistakes have cost me plenty, no doubt, but I also learned from them. I often wonder about the status of my faith had things been different.

Yeah, the past is better left unchanged.

I had a great childhood, and there's nothing of import that I'd want a mulligan on.  My "if I could do it over again" is a bit of frivolity: encountering Metallica's music was huge for me.  Hearing the live cut of "Fade to Black" that was the B-side on the "Wherever I May Roam" single was literally transformative for me;  James Hetfield is the sole reason I ever had the urge to pick up a guitar, and that particular performance had the biggest single impact any piece of music has ever had on me.  Because of that,  playing is now a central facet of me being "me".  

My "do-over" is not waiting 20 years after the fact to see the band.....I would go back and see them at the height of their career, when no other band in existence could touch them, and I'd catch several shows from early on their Black album tour.  Snake Pit tickets, up close and personal.......

Yeah, I know......utterly frivolous.  But like I said, I had what I consider to be a great childhood, and there's not a "real" thing about it I have the slightest regret over.

My "do-over" is not waiting 20 years after the fact to see the band.....I would go back and see them at the height of their career, when no other band in existence could touch them, and I'd catch several shows from early on their Black album tour.  Snake Pit tickets, up close and personal.......

I saw them on their In Justice For All tour..up close and personal..they killed..I had never seen or heard a band like that performance..They were soooo Loud (even louder than nugent) and they were so heavy... in fact when they first started playing most of the crowd was like...   and by the end we were like ... it kinda set a new bar for metal bands to meet during performance.

Savage Amusement wrote:

My "do-over" is not waiting 20 years after the fact to see the band.....I would go back and see them at the height of their career, when no other band in existence could touch them, and I'd catch several shows from early on their Black album tour.  Snake Pit tickets, up close and personal.......

I saw them on their In Justice For All tour..up close and personal..they killed..I had never seen or heard a band like that performance..They were soooo Loud (even louder than nugent) and they were so heavy... in fact when they first started playing most of the crowd was like...   and by the end we were like ... it kinda set a new bar for metal bands to meet during performance.

Exactly.

I finally saw them touring Death Magnetic, from the nosebleed seats......and it was STILL one of the best shows I have ever seen. Gojira and Lamb of God opened, and while great bands, absolutely paled in comparison.

I should probably change my "do-over" just ever so slightly.  Saw Maiden on their Final Frontier run with Dream Theater.  Dream Thater was quite good, but....daaaaang, can Maiden put on a show! I can only imagine a gig from their heyday.


On a more serious note, re-reading this thread has re-enforced just how good I've had it.

Savage Amusement wrote:My parents changed churches at least 20 times while I was growing up...That screws with a kids head... In fact I think it has had a huge bearing on my views to this day..

Same here.

This is the one that plagues me. The time I wasted not living my life in service to the King. But things happen for a reason and all according to Gods will.

Peter who was Vaak wrote:That all being said, I'm not sure what I'd change.  If something did change.  How would that change me?  Would I be in a different place and would I being going towards what God wants me to do?  I don't know.  He's shown me what will happen and has made it clear I'm where I need to be.

Great attitude.

ThomasEversole wrote:

Savage Amusement wrote:My parents changed churches at least 20 times while I was growing up...That screws with a kids head... In fact I think it has had a huge bearing on my views to this day..

Same here.

You guys don't have to answer if it's too personal, but would you mind me asking why?  What happened that caused your parents to want to change churches so much?  I can understand that would have a bad effect on someone.

You guys don't have to answer if it's too personal, but would you mind me asking why?  What happened that caused your parents to want to change churches so much?  I can understand that would have a bad effect on someone.

my parents didnt agree theologically...when I was born they were going to the Lutheran church...but at some point my dad decided to be a baptist (he was raised baptist)..so we became southern baptist...but my mom didn't like the baptist..she wanted to be Pentecostal but my dad thought that was hokey so alot of arguments broke out in my home..Sunday was always the worst day of the week.. But eventually we went to an apostolic church (kinda like the precursor to the faith movement in the 70s)...but after awhile my dad had enough so we went back to the southern baptist but my mom got upset again so they compromised and we switched to a more liberal baptist church...that worked for awhile but eventually my mom decided she would no longer go there and we went to the first christian church (Calvinist)..by this time I was starting high school...my dad opened his own business and needed to network and all the important business men and bankers in town went to the Presbyterian church so we switched to that church... I hated it ..I thought/think they teach nonsense and the other kids there were rich ignorant brats who hated me and I hated them...by the time I graduated high school I didn't want anything to do with the christian church period.. eventually my parents started going to a word of faith megachurch and I went there with them for awhile but the only good that came out of that was I met my current wife there...then my father died and my mom moved..she is now a Methodist and will be there till she is dead most likely.me and my wife were Methodist for awhile and eventually we moved on to free grace theology churches..my wife is still pretty much that but she is open to what Judaism teaches...I am leaning more towards a combination of Judaism and free grace and we are both open to the Gnostic gospels..I will never ever go back to all those denominational churches and beliefs from my childhood... for the record I have been baptisted in the Lutheran, baptist (twice), the Presbyterian and the apostolic churches   surely one of them took ... Keep in mind everytime we changed churches I was told by the new church that the old church was wrong and to forget what they said and instead embrace the teachings of the new church ..that screws with a kid..believe me

Thanks for sharing.  I can definitely see how that would be confusing and bad - especially for a child.  I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that.

Yeah..that's cool...I am one with my father in heaven now and at peace..no more confusion