Re: The really bad joke thread

[Andreas89]

I seem to suffer from short-term memory loss.

[Noods]

How do you organize a space party? 


You planet!

[oldschooldoom]

[oldschooldoom]

[Professor_Valconian]

There were two cannibals eating a clown. One turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"

[Staybrite]

This thread makes me happy.  Even if it does cause a lot of eye-rolling and the occasional face palm.

[HenrikB]

Disclaimer: My sincere apologies in advance for this one.

An American, a Dutchman and a Chinese strand after a shipwreck on an uninhabited island. The American says: "I've been in the army for many years, I know how to survive. So if you guys don't mind, I'll give the orders". The Dutchman and Chinese find it very well. The American goes further: "Ok, each of us will will have to search for something. You, Chinese guy, take care of the supplies. Dutch guy, you take care of the food, and I'll take care of the wood. In two hours we'll meet back here." Everyone finds it a good plan and they go their own ways.

After 2 hours the American and the Dutchman are on the agreed spot. The Chinese is, however, nowhere in sight. They wait still a couple of hours and as the Chinese still doesn’t arrive, they get worried. They decide to search for him. Some hours later they have combed the complete island, but no Chinese found. Thinking that he might have been eaten by a wild animal, they sadly decide to go back. Arrived at the spot, they sit down, looking despondently at their stuff, as suddenly the Chinese jumps from the shrubs and calls: "Supplies!!!"

[Markus1987]

^ That was funny

[alldatndensum]

You know why Air Force uniforms look better than all the rest?

They have all those hangars!

[ThomasEversole]

Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay.
Mom: *looks at dad*
Dad: *clenches his fists and sweats*
Mom: No, don-
Dad: HI GAY I'M DAD

[Markus1987]

A Finnish man, an American man and a Turkish man sat in the train. They discussed about whose country is the richest. An American man  threw the money out of the window and yelled: "We have too much of these". A Turkish man threw the kebab out of the window and yelled: "We have too much of these". A Finnish man threw the Turkish man out of the window and yelled: "We have too much of these" .

[Kerrick]

Disclaimer: My sincere apologies in advance for this one.

An American, a Dutchman and a Chinese strand after a shipwreck on an uninhabited island. The American says: "I've been in the army for many years, I know how to survive. So if you guys don't mind, I'll give the orders". The Dutchman and Chinese find it very well. The American goes further: "Ok, each of us will will have to search for something. You, Chinese guy, take care of the supplies. Dutch guy, you take care of the food, and I'll take care of the wood. In two hours we'll meet back here." Everyone finds it a good plan and they go their own ways.

After 2 hours the American and the Dutchman are on the agreed spot. The Chinese is, however, nowhere in sight. They wait still a couple of hours and as the Chinese still doesn’t arrive, they get worried. They decide to search for him. Some hours later they have combed the complete island, but no Chinese found. Thinking that he might have been eaten by a wild animal, they sadly decide to go back. Arrived at the spot, they sit down, looking despondently at their stuff, as suddenly the Chinese jumps from the shrubs and calls: "Supplies!!!"

Son:  Mom, dad, I'm gay.
Mom: *looks at dad*
Dad: *clenches his fists and sweats*
Mom: No, don-
Dad: HI GAY I'M DAD

These made me chuckle. 

[ThomasEversole]

Arrived at the spot, they sit down, looking despondently at their stuff, as suddenly the Chinese jumps from the shrubs and calls: "Supplies!!!"

That reminds me of this.  

[HenrikB]

Another awesome bad joke that I just read on Facebook...

Astronaut 1: Hi mate, I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

[Staybrite]

Oh wow, that was pretty bad. 

[ThomasEversole]

Anytime I hear about "Big Pharma" in the news, I can't help but think that would also sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger talking about a large farmer.

[Driven]

I'll never hear that the same way again.

"You wanna be a Big Pharma? Here's a couple achers!"

[oldschooldoom]

[ThomasEversole]

I was in my bedroom and saw 10 ants running around frantically. I felt compassion for these ants, so I made a little house for them out of a matchbox.

This technically makes me their landlord and they are my...

Tenants.

[oldschooldoom]

[oldschooldoom]

And another one from my workplace

[oldschooldoom]

I have had enough!!!! So sick of it, I'll never help anyone again....EVER!! Either I'm too kindhearted, or I'm too stupid! Yesterday it was cold and my heart ran away with me once again. I took a man into my home out of pity and the kindness of my heart. I've done this many times before and if you know me I am always taking strangers in my house. My son Luke always says "Dad...stop." I felt so sorry for him. He was trembling with cold.... poor thing! But this morning, he had just vanished without a word, not even a goodbye or a thank you for feeding and giving him a place to stay. So flipping uncool.
And the last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room carpet.... Who does that!? That's the "thank you" I get for being good to people
So let me warn everyone to watch out for this jackass! He goes by the name of Frosty. He is heavy set, wears nothing but a scarf, has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks!!! So don't bring him into your house!
What a huge mess he made on my carpeted floor. I'm not happy!

[oldschooldoom]

Another one from my work home page

[Rockrz]

I was in my bedroom and saw 10 ants running around frantically. I felt compassion for these ants, so I made a little house for them out of a matchbox.

This technically makes me their landlord and they are my...

Tenants.

So, do they do antacid on the weekends???

[oldschooldoom]

And now for the bad joke of the year

Man walks into a bar, orders a Corona and 2 Hurricanes.
Bartender says that'll be $20.20

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