The really bad joke thread

[Professor_Valconian]

What's brown and sticky?

... a stick.

[Peter who was Vaak]

What did the father buffalo say to his son as he left the herd?  

By-son.

What do you call a dehydrated Frenchman?

Pierre.

[KaramKaram]

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's Wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when Little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy
looked back once, while She was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and
she turned into a telephone pole!"

[Blake]

Heres one I used to say as a kid:

Whats brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation

[Staybrite]

Why was 6 afraid of 7....because seven ate nine!

[Kerrick]

So I bought these shoes from a drug dealer.  I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day!

[Guest]

[Hardcore Christian]

OK so this guy is taking his girlfriend to the dance

He shows up to get his tux at the store
Theirs a huge line, he waits all the way til he gets to the front.

He shows up to get a limo to take her in.
Of course there is a huge line, he has to wait all the way to the front

By the time he gets there all the limos have been sold except the best and most expensive one, which he wanted. He takes it.

He goes to get a corsage at the flower place, and there is a huge line. He waits and waits all the way to the front. And picks up the flower.

He goes to pick up his date and they finally get to the dance.

They get there when his date wants punch.
Well their is no punch line.

[Professor_Valconian]

My greatest contribution to humor came when I was given a pet lizard. I taught it to walk on its hind legs. It became the world's first stand-up chameleon.

[Louder]

Q: What do you call a tornado with a tumor?
A: A cysted twister.

[KaramKaram]

- June's over?

- Julying

[alldatndensum]

You want to hear a dirty joke?

I fell into a mud puddle.


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A horse walks into a bar.  The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"


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If it takes a chicken and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long will it take a rooster who is sitting on  doorknob to hatch out a hardware store?

You give up?

The rooster did, too!!!!

[Peter who was Vaak]

I was reminded of this:

[Metal15]

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?


Because if they flew over the bay they'd be called bagels.

[Hardcore Christian]

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?


Because if they flew over the bay they'd be called bagels.

[XenonLion]

Why can't your nose be 12 inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

[Professor_Valconian]

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me something smells.

[metallikitty]

Knock knock

Who's th- MOOOO! -ere?

Interrupting cow

(Not anywhere as good as actually speaking the joke)

I wonder if anyone will know my source for this one?

>^~^<

[Machine Fish]

Two peanuts were walking down the street- One was assaulted

[ThomasEversole]

A grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says, "You know what? I've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper excitedly replies, "You have a drink named Ron!??!?!?"

[ThomasEversole]

What's brown and sticky?

... a stick.

Q: What's green and has legs?
A: Grass. I was just kidding about the legs part.

Q: What's the difference between a bicycle and a tree?
A: They both have wheels except for the tree.

Q: What's the difference between a guy carrot and a girl carrot?
A: Don't be crazy! Carrots don't talk!!!!

[Professor_Valconian]

Why was the number 10 afraid?

Because 7 8 9

[oldschooldoom]

A man vacations on a tropical 
island, and the first thing he hears 
is drums.

He goes to the beach 
and hears the drums; he eats lunch, he hears the drums; he tries to sleep, he can’t—drums.

Finally he storms over to the manager. “I’ve had it! Can’t you stop those drums?” he begs.

“No!” says the manager. “It’s very bad if the drums stop.”

“Why?”

“When the drums stop, the bass solo begins.”

[Kerrick]

Why do scuba divers always fall out of the boat and into the water backwards?

Answer:

[New Creation]

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
A. Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground Beef

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