My story

I have been involved with CMR and Firestream since mid 2005. Some of you have got to know me real well, especially when I was more involved as a member during those early years. But please allow me to share my story (or maybe, testimony).

I was raised by my father as a child. I dealt with physical abuse (meaning he beat the crap out of me), emotional abuse (meaning he always screamed at me), and sexual abuse (meaning that he allowed not one, but TWO different women to molest me when I was 9 years old). Since the age of 13 (I'm 34 now), I have had vices that are self destructing my spirit. I have finally gathered the courage to fight back against my immoral habits and to NOT let them master me. It is requiring unceasing prayer on my part, and even then, I have been on the brink, almost falling due to the temptation.

Beginning in my teen years, I grew to hate life. I embraced darkness. I loved sadness and gloom. I was never good with people. I spent the last 20+ years being extremely antisocial. (Makes you wonder how I've been married for almost 14 years, don't it? )

Due to everything my dad put me through as a child, I bottled up all my anger for years and years. Dare I say, metal music was how I chose to channel my anger. I was able to lose myself through that and video games.

And I found myself a slave to my own computer stating on Facebook all day, as well as other sites. I think I can better describe my statement with this link:
https://i.imgur.com/PLNEr.png

And I felt the Lord was speaking to me, telling me to purge those things from my life that are sucking the soul out of me. And so I deleted my facebook. That was 12 days ago. Not once have I tried to reactivate it to check messages. And I'm getting the feeling that it won't stop there. If I'm a slave to anything or anyone other than the Lord, then what's the point?

I have more or less abandoned all metal music in place of praise and worship music. With my state of mind right now, I need something that will edify me, and right now, metal ain't doing it. (No, I'm not saying it's wrong for someone else to listen to metal, so please don't think I'm insinuating that.) I have vocally renounced the things that have kept me in darkness, and I fight those cravings every day now.

I want to just ask that you would pray for me. Pray that my vices that have held a 20+ year iron grip will finally be loosed in Jesus' name. Pray that the Lord would stir my wife's heart that she would seek His face, (she doesn't attend church with me), and pray that all those demons that have haunted me since my early childhood would be cast down, in His name.

I can't guarantee that I'll be online much, but send me a PM if you want my e-mail and would like to talk. God bless.

John

Thx for sharing John, i pray that Jesus may "lay the demons to rest", in His name! God bless

Amen...You're story has prompted me to post my testimony.

praying for ya, man. And, amen.

Praying.

Good for you. Personally I have no use for Facebook nor did I have a use for MySpace. I found them to be time wasters. Do I waste time on the internet? Sure but I would waste more if I were on those sites. If someone wants to know what I am doing then they can CALL ME.

It's ok to take a break from metal. If you decide you want to listen to some metal later, try and discover a new Christian band you have never heard.

Stay strong brother!

Pray God will be with you and to keep you strong. You've been though alot and your still faithful, you must be strong in God