A Letter to the Community

[Guest]

A Letter to you
 
    Hello CMR community. Happy Belated Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas, I wanted to take a few mins to write to you as a whole just to explain a few things. I have read the posts and the speculations on why I just instantly left and most of the speculations were right but not the entire reason if that makes sense.  I admit just up and deleting my account was a bit extreme on my part while I should have just logged off and stayed away for awhile, on that I accept the responsibility and or blame for that.
           Right now I have a lot on my plate, a lot of stress, drama, worry and to be honest It has me worn down and running a lot of times on empty.  Not just with my daughter but with other things in my life too.  When I deleted my account I was feeling at a complete low. My daughter just had her cat scan and they had found a mass 3 cm by 1.5 cm going into the lung and near the diaphragm. Apparently this type of CPAM is a rare type even possibly a hybrid but they won’t know that until it’s been removed.  I had completely trusted and had faith that God was going to do a miracle here and in his infinite wisdom and mercy he did not. So I know there’s a purpose but it broke my heart all over again. Sadness, depression, anger, indignation, etc.  I felt like I was going through the whole process again from when we first learned of a problem all those months ago. So as fellow parents can imagine I was not in the right frame of mind.  However, everything happens for a reason and it was this line of thinking and reasoning that has kept me from a total emotional breakdown.  (Yeah I am way overdue for a vacation) The date for the surgery has been set to January 20^th. 
          Yeah another reason I left was because of the bickering and arguing as I need an outlet where it’s not going to raise my stress levels.  Anytime I start to stress my back and shoulders tense up I can feel them knotting.  I also took off because of the music tastes I Have and what the consensus is generally into, I really even at this writing still don’t feel like I really belong here.  But I came back because I felt everybody here deserved an explanation from me on why I just vanished.
                It was not a result of something said to me directly but one thing you may not know about me is I am one of those types where if I call you a friend then it’s for life. I don’t let people in very easily but when I do I think they can say I am a loyal friend.  So when my friends were under attack then  I get involved. I am one of those who take their offence and make it mine. That’s how I am wired.  I am not saying that my friend was attacked or ganged up on but that’s how he felt at the time. Anyways it’s not really important I am just trying to give you the reader an idea on what my thought processes were. I do want to thank those who had expressed concern for me. I also want to thank those who have been praying for me and my family even after I departed I covet all prayers.  To those who have come off as cold and heartless maybe, I don’t expect you to understand how I am wired but everybody is wired differently and therefore reacts differently.
       I don’t know if I am back or not, as I had said I feel like I needed to explain myself and why I did what I did and reacted the way I reacted. Time will tell if I engage the community regularly. But I do want to say that I wish you all God’s richest blessings upon you and yours.

[d@v!d]

Thank you. God bless. I'll continue to remember your family in prayer.

[deathisgain]

Will be lifting you and your family up in prayer.

[Hardcore Christian]

Thanks for taking time to let us know!!

Will be praying for you and your family

[messiaen77]

Hey man, totally understand and thanks for taking the time to explain.  Will absolutely be in prayer for your family and your daughter's surgery. 

I really appreciated your contributions to the community, and I hope that you will in time return to being a regular participant.  If now isn't the time for that, that is totally fine.  Please do keep up apprised of your daughter's health situation and your prayer needs so that we can better support and uplift you and your family during this time.

[MikeInFla]

Prayers headed your way. I cannot begin to imagine the stress levels.

[Guest]

Thank you everybody for your prayers and understanding. I promise to keep you guys informed on my daughter's progress. Shell be 9 months on sunday

[Guest]

So glad to see you back dude!  

I hope you decide to stick around. This place is really a better place when you are here.

About the bickering and strife. I haven't really been seeing any of that here lately. Since you left ... all of that just died down. I think a lot of it was misunderstandings just gone awry. And I think also that a lot of folks here are starting to understand how to kinda let someone be of a 'different denominational persuasion' ... and be okay with that. To just be glad and rejoice in the common ground we DO share (Christ, Metal, etc)

Anyway - you are definitely missed. As you can see from all the support here even in this thread!

[metaldude]

Nice to hear from you, Aaron. You are missed, bro.

I will apologize, in advance, for breaking forum rules, but this needs to be said.

Aaron, don't you let a bad report from a doctor, or anyone else, cause your faith to waiver. As husbands and fathers, we are to provide for our families. That's not always food on the table or a roof over your head. Sometimes it's the faith that stands for someone who may be weak. YOU are the authority in your home. YOU decide who rules. Get that Joshua attitude of "As for me and my house..." and declare war on anything that opposes His reign. Put voice to His promises and let them reign in your home and life.

You've got brothers here who are praying for you. I will go to war with you. I have seen, in my own home, the deaf made to hear. It's not just lip service when I say we serve an awesome God.

PM me if you want to talk about things. Sometimes, just having a brother helps.

[Guest]

AMEN Metaldude!!!

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