Disrespect

I think it hurts the forum when people get so disrespectful or bitter. It's okay to express your opinion, but it should be in a way that's respectful. Drama and bickering will only tear us apart. Sometimes things won't go your way and that's okay. It's good to learn how to make the best out of situations and look at the positives. If you disagree with something someone has done, it would probably be best to address them privately and speak calmly and clearly. If someone comes to you, you should think and explain why you believe you were correct without being irrational or disrespectful. If you come to the conclusions that you were wrong, then make that clear. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything. I just want to help. I really do care about all of you and i hope that we can be closer. If you don't want to want to be here, that is your choice and neither I nor anyone else have the right to stop you. I just really don't like when I get the feeling that someone is whining or complaining. I also feel bad when people are constantly unsatisfied.

Sorry it's so long.

I need to clarify something. I wasn't talking about discussions. If you disagree with someone in a discussion, you can talk to them about it right there, but know when it is getting too heated. In the above post, I was talking about if you disagree with how someone acted or handled something.

For one who is still young, you have shown more maturity in that one post than some folks here who are more than twice your age.

POST OF THE YEAR

can we start that in a thread?

(nevermind this already won)
but seriously Xenon this was great

It applies to most of us here
(including me)
I needed this thanks

I agree: Post Of The Year!  XL, thank you for posting this.  It's something we ALL need to be reminded of...

And Samson is right.  You are one wise gal.  And your presence here is very much appreciated!

Someone mentioned having thick skin when it comes to theology (or any) discussions. Yes, it's good to not take everything personally, but it's better to not have to deal with rude tones in the first place. Frankly, if we spoke to our bosses and governors the way we speak to each other on here sometimes, we'd be kicked out pretty soon. Thanks so much for the reminder XL.

Thank you XL for those words of wisdom

XenonLion wrote:I think it hurts the forum when people get so disrespectful or bitter. It's okay to express your opinion, but it should be in a way that's respectful. Drama and bickering will only tear us apart. Sometimes things won't go your way and that's okay. It's good to learn how to make the best out of situations and look at the positives. If you disagree with something someone has done, it would probably be best to address them privately and speak calmly and clearly. If someone comes to you, you should think and explain why you believe you were correct without being irrational or disrespectful. If you come to the conclusions that you were wrong, then make that clear. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything. I just want to help. I really do care about all of you and i hope that we can be closer. If you don't want to want to be here, that is your choice and neither I nor anyone else have the right to stop you. I just really don't like when I get the feeling that someone is whining or complaining. I also feel bad when people are constantly unsatisfied.

Sorry it's so long.

Well said.

Well said indeed. 

I am not really sure what you are saying here but it kinda sounds like you are asking for behaviour modification ...I think everything everyone does here is them just being themselves..(that would be the case for me anyway..online or offline)... I can deal with that and to me thats the reality we live in..sarcasm, rudeness, whining, complaining...thats who the human race is with or without Christ...yes, its unpleasant sometimes but I would rather someone be rude or sarcastic or truthfully just tell me they hate me than for someone to lie to me by not just being themselves...

Someone mentioned having thick skin when it comes to theology (or any) discussions. Yes, it's good to not take everything personally,

yes I did...and truthfully thats life...

Frankly, if we spoke to our bosses and governors the way we speak to each other on here sometimes, we'd be kicked out pretty soon.

maybe in your country or your world but not so much in mine...do ya watch the news and see whats happening in America Driven...

Well said.  I think civility and common courtesy are being swallowed up by our self-centeredness.  People aren't able to disagree with an idea or a viewpoint without things eventually becoming personal.

I can deal with that and to me thats the reality we live in..sarcasm, rudeness, whining, complaining...thats who the human race is with or without Christ...

Yeah, but for those of us with Christ, we should be better than that.  Keep in mind I'm wagging my finger at myself as well.

I never said that someone has to lie to you, SA. If someone hates you, then they should make sure it doesn't ruin the whole atmosphere of the forum. It can just be between you. Changing how you deal with things isn't totally bad. Didn't the disciples change after coming to Christ? No one is perfect. I don't think anyone is expecting perfection. However, that doesn't mean we can't improve how we interact with other people.

And on and on it goes

Hopefully not.

messiaen77 wrote:Well said.  I think civility and common courtesy are being swallowed up by our self-centeredness.  People aren't able to disagree with an idea or a viewpoint without things eventually becoming personal.

I can deal with that and to me thats the reality we live in..sarcasm, rudeness, whining, complaining...thats who the human race is with or without Christ...

Yeah, but for those of us with Christ, we should be better than that.  Keep in mind I'm wagging my finger at myself as well.

This. And I'm more than ready to admit that for a lot of us, this is a challenge, but the good thing about typing is that we can take a step back and read our messages before we post them, and decide whether or not they reflect respect.

How "respectful" would many of you be if one would come here to promote Joseph Smith as a true prophet? Stating that we could not discuss all the "slander" against him as a "false prophet" and only to focus on his teachings on repentance?

I could be very respectful; whether I would or not admittedly depends on a number of external factors.  I know what you are getting at here, and I must confess that hypothetically if this kind of thing were to happen, I allowed my annoyance and irritation to get the best of me and I was not always respectful.     One way I would be respectful, or rather not be disrespectful, would be to not engage in that discussion because I would not abide by those rules.

Candlemass wrote:How "respectful" would many of you be if one would come here to promote Joseph Smith as a true prophet? Stating that we could not discuss all the "slander" against him as a "false prophet" and only to focus on his teachings on repentance?

Well, first and foremost, irrelevant example as such a thread would be wrapped up tight as soon as staff saw it since we've got a moratorium on such things in place at present.


Secondly,  messiaen77 pretty much hit the nail square on the head at the end of his post.  I will be the first to admit that I have a brusk, authoritarian demeanor as a mod that rubs people the wrong way, and can be viewed as disrespectful to others at times, even if I try NOT to come off that way......but if folks had ANY idea how often I choose to not involve myself in general conversation around this place over the years because I'm biting my tongue in an effort not to be a jackass and respond in like kind.......your "better mods" crack in your "Wow" thread, for example, was something I actively chose to ignore rather than respond to after I saw it, and since it had slipped my mind that everyone's friendly neighborhood Kerrick was a mod at Firestream, it's probably for te best that I didn't let fly with what was running thru the ol' brain pan at first.

3) the way things have gone here in the past are somewhat irrelevant at this point.  One of the main reasons the sandbox is no longer open is because we a HOPING to foster a better environment around this place.  Thread starter absolutely NAILED IT with his post.  What happened/how folks operated in the past (and trust me when I say that having been on staff at previous incarnations of this place, there are some VERY rose colored glasses tinting the view of te "old CMR") simply doesn't  matter.  You are welcome to help usher in and foster this new era if you wish, or not.  completely your choice. All we ask is that folks not be an impediment.......

exo wrote:

Candlemass wrote:How "respectful" would many of you be if one would come here to promote Joseph Smith as a true prophet? Stating that we could not discuss all the "slander" against him as a "false prophet" and only to focus on his teachings on repentance?

Well, first and foremost, irrelevant example as such a thread would be wrapped up tight as soon as staff saw it since we've got a moratorium on such things in place at present.

Yea, wasn't speaking at all to the present circumstances...

exo wrote:

Candlemass wrote:How "respectful" would many of you be if one would come here to promote Joseph Smith as a true prophet? Stating that we could not discuss all the "slander" against him as a "false prophet" and only to focus on his teachings on repentance?

Well, first and foremost, irrelevant example as such a thread would be wrapped up tight as soon as staff saw it since we've got a moratorium on such things in place at present.


Secondly,  messiaen77 pretty much hit the nail square on the head at the end of his post.  I will be the first to admit that I have a brusk, authoritarian demeanor as a mod that rubs people the wrong way, and can be viewed as disrespectful to others at times, even if I try NOT to come off that way......but if folks had ANY idea how often I choose to not involve myself in general conversation around this place over the years because I'm biting my tongue in an effort not to be a jackass and respond in like kind.......your "better mods" crack in your "Wow" thread, for example, was something I actively chose to ignore rather than respond to after I saw it, and since it had slipped my mind that everyone's friendly neighborhood Kerrick was a mod at Firestream, it's probably for te best that I didn't let fly with what was running thru the ol' brain pan at first.

3) the way things have gone here in the past are somewhat irrelevant at this point.  One of the main reasons the sandbox is no longer open is because we a HOPING to foster a better environment around this place.  Thread starter absolutely NAILED IT with his post.  What happened/how folks operated in the past (and trust me when I say that having been on staff at previous incarnations of this place, there are some VERY rose colored glasses tinting the view of te "old CMR") simply doesn't  matter.  You are welcome to help usher in and foster this new era if you wish, or not.  completely your choice. All we ask is that folks not be an impediment.......

I agree that I don't think the old board was THAT nice of a place (it wasn't horrible, just not idyllic). In fact I remember an exodus of people that left because of disagreement(s).

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You do realize that it's only been two weeks since the Theology Realm was shut down? And that that better environment hasn't even begun to show?

Regardless of if the TR had never been closed in the first place or if it reopens in the future, if anybody is expecting a whole glut of new posting peeps, they'll be sorely disappointed. We are in the age of FaceBook and Twitter, and forums such as this are an anachronism now.

true lemonMouse and thats why the questions are being asked..what subjects can we talk about and what subjects are we to avoid and the question I keep asking over and over ..the thing that spurs more argument and disrespect than anything.. 'Is sarcasm acceptable on the board"?

+1 to the original post.  Showing a little diplomacy in how we use our words here or anywhere tends to be more effective communication.  I'm all for fraternal correction for perceived wrongdoings, but some ways to present such correction are more effective than others.  I also think we have a tendency to focus on what changes we want to see other people make rather than the changes we might be called to make.

I think it's true that a bit of sarcasm may be part and parcel of any relationship, but something is only truly funny if both the teller and the listener agree that it is funny.  Otherwise, it can just be mean.  Maybe this is just my opinion.