I am in a horrible place

Long story short, I feel like I'm going insane. I can't control my thoughts anymore and they are explicitly evil. I can't stop thinking these things. Also, I've begun reading the Bible more, gone from occasionally to nearly every day, I'm following a daily devotional with esvbible.com. Anyways, the other day as I was reading, and this went on for a few days, it was specifically speaking to me. I have never felt so spiritually desolate in my entire life. I am looking at it all clearly and I am in an absolutely horrible place.

When I sinned before, I was "I shouldn't do this and felt a little guilty afterwards," but now I realize the real impact of it all and I am getting literally sick every time I do. That feeling is enough to keep me from doing some of the stuff I did. I mean, I went to see Safe House and I couldn't even go through Wendy's drive through for fear of feeling this way[Ya know, not suppose to sneak food in(I'll admit, this is definitely for the better)].

I just destroyed all my secular CDs. I've tossed a few secular shirts I have and will get rid of the rest. Ruining the CDs did bring some relief, but still these persistent thoughts continue. Please pray. Thanks.

Praying.

Praying for you and your situation.

Praying

It's not an easy world, and it's definitely not an easy walk on the narrow path. Obedience and devotion will help you to see things more clearly and will eventually clear your mind up.
My advice as one who's struggled with some crazy stuff over my 23 years of knowing our Father: Don't grow complacent or apathetic. If the feeling's not there or life's circumstances are bombarding you, go through the motions of reading His Word and force yourself to pray... He will bless your obedience.

Thanks a lot for the prayers.

guilty/forgiven wrote:It's not an easy world, and it's definitely not an easy walk on the narrow path. Obedience and devotion will help you to see things more clearly and will eventually clear your mind up.
My advice as one who's struggled with some crazy stuff over my 23 years of knowing our Father: Don't grow complacent or apathetic. If the feeling's not there or life's circumstances are bombarding you, go through the motions of reading His Word and force yourself to pray... He will bless your obedience.

Thanks a lot for the words. I'll remember that.

praying