A Plea

Ok, family meeting time.    It doesn't take a rocket-surgeon to see that tensions are high right now and there's a lot of discontentment.  I got three messages from separate users this morning about the current state of CMR.  One user told me they've been posting in other sections because of all the conflict going on in here.  That breaks my heart!

So please hear out my plea for how I believe we can make this the awesome spot I know it can be.  Also, I'll be the first to admit that I don't know how to perfectly do this.  I'm trying my absolute hardest and I pour myself daily into this place and the people here.  I genuinely care for each and ever user here.  But if you see how I/we can do something different/better, please let me know.  I have never once just disregarded anything anyone has ever said to me here.  That being said, here's what I think we can all do to improve things here:


1.  Respect.  I'm gonna let XenonLion speak on this one, because I couldn't have said it more eloquently or perfectly.

XenonLion wrote:I think it hurts the forum when people get so disrespectful or bitter. It's okay to express your opinion, but it should be in a way that's respectful. Drama and bickering will only tear us apart. Sometimes things won't go your way and that's okay. It's good to learn how to make the best out of situations and look at the positives. If you disagree with something someone has done, it would probably be best to address them privately and speak calmly and clearly. If someone comes to you, you should think and explain why you believe you were correct without being irrational or disrespectful. If you come to the conclusions that you were wrong, then make that clear. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything. I just want to help. I really do care about all of you and i hope that we can be closer. If you don't want to want to be here, that is your choice and neither I nor anyone else have the right to stop you. I just really don't like when I get the feeling that someone is whining or complaining. I also feel bad when people are constantly unsatisfied.

I do not believe anyone is entitled to be disrespectful to each other here.  "It's just how I am."  I don't buy it.  The Theology Realm was not shut down because of people disagreeing.  It was shut down because of how people disagreed.  It was disrespectful, arrogant, and prideful.

Proverbs 18:2 (NIV) wrote:Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

In my opinion, ^that is what was/is happening here and it's poisonous.  I believe that comes down to humility and respect (which go hand-in-hand).  If someone posts something that you think is ignorant or dumb... please don't take it upon yourself to tell them so.  Humbly and gently state your position and back it up with evidence.


2.  Love.  Jesus said it best (of course haha).

John 13:35 (NLT) wrote:Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

We are all Christ's disciples; let's start acting like it.  Which brings me to my next point:


3.  Identity.  We are Christ's Beloved.

1 John 3:1-2 (ESV) wrote:See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is

I believe we've been identifying each other as "Free Gracer," "Reformer," or whatever and that is not who we are.  We are Christ's Beloved, brothers and sisters of the Most High God.  I believe that we are focusing on the wrong aspects of who each other is, which in turn separates us into opposing [theological, etc.] "teams" rather than the one unified team we truly are all on.  We are Christians and we are metalheads.  Let us be united in what brings us together, not what tears us apart.


4.  Prayer.  We have a whole section dedicated to prayer that is rarely used and only by a few people.  Let's change that!  To piggyback off of #3, each user here is SO MUCH MORE than a silly name and avatar that spits out words on an website.  We are human beings with souls who are going through excruciatingly difficult and wonderfully beautiful times.  Let's share more than our views and perspectives on things; let's share our lives.  It's hard to love and respect someone if we don't know them.  I want this place to be unified through praying with and for each other during the rough times and praising God together for the good times.  Let's "rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn."


So what do you say?  Is this reasonable?  Realistic?  Am I missing something crucial?  Do we need to define what "respect" looks like here more clearly?  Let me know guys!

Generally no complaints here. I agree...

I especially agree with #4. I've always wondered why no one uses that area but I'd assume it's the same reason I don't - "If no one else is willing to be that open, I'm not either."

I agree with all being said

I agree, too.

Kerrick wrote:Ok, family meeting time...

Well spoken. FY('all)I, I'm not tense. I'm glad the TR section is offline now. It mostly brought out the worst in me. We can only benefit from scaling down things that hurt and trying to foment a kinder environment.


About #4. I can say for myself that I'm more a head knowledge 'Christian' than heart knowledge, which often has me wondering if I have any vital connection to Christ Himself. "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

The question we ought to ask ourselves is where is our Christianity if we can't make the time to pray for each other, stave off our self-indulgences to love each other, and show some compassion.

Fine..no problem..I understand..

"We want to fight, spit and curse...are we not men?!"

 Sorry, mike and candlemass just cracked me up  

MikeInFla wrote:

I know right.

Well said Kerrick.

I thought this topic would be about A Plea for Purging. Dont think we need to purge anyone though.

On a more serious note though I probably havent been active enough to see the issues myself. I think everything Kerrick said is perfectly reasonable.

Same. I haven't been around here in ages but I did notice that an awful lot of (long time) members seem to be gone.

"I don't know anything about you baby, but you're everything I'm dreaming of. I don't know who you are but you're a real dead ringer for love" was playing on youtube when I read number 2 lol.

I don't have a problem with all the stuff posted. I usually try to walk away from heated topics unless I feel like I'm being targeted. It doesn't feel like a drag whenever I get a notification reply email from the CMR anymore.

MikeInFla wrote:

Bahahahaha oh man, that is so exactly how I feel... 

Metal Blessing Radio wrote:I thought this topic would be about A Plea for Purging. Dont think we need to purge anyone though.

On a more serious note though I probably havent been active enough to see the issues myself. I think everything Kerrick said is perfectly reasonable.

  Yeah I thought about A Plea For Purging too when I wrote that...  And no, that's not an attempt to subtly suggest we need to "purge" anyone... 

I agree with everything, as well....

I agree completely. As Christians, we have enough against us, we don't need to be after each other. Being a member of this, and other, boards has opened up so much new music to me because I finally met other people who are passionate about bone-crushing, jackhammer-driving music that also expresses our faith. I like having people to do this with. As I was reading through this thread, this psalm came to mind.


Psalm 133:1-3 ESV

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.


Where there is unity, God COMMANDS a blessing.

Well said Kerrick

Metal Blessing Radio wrote:I thought this topic would be about A Plea for Purging. Dont think we need to purge anyone though.

But yes this is a very serious matter that applies to mostly all of us

I hope every one takes this on a positive note like I have

Although I may have some slightly different ways of looking at this whole issue, I agree with the general tenor of what you are saying kerrick.

I can get on board for being more unified as well.

Oh, and I thought this was about A Plea For Purging too.  See, we are already being more harmonious.

Thanks everyone!  I don't know about you, but I've definitely noticed a big improvement here since I first posted that.  I feel like we're moving forward, gelling together, and getting back to how things once were.  Thanks everyone for your patience, support, insight, and involvement. 

I must of missed out on the resentment/hard feelings that members feel towards each other. I wasn't aware that there were issues.

I would like to say that members have posted comments to my posts that I was surprised at or wondered, "what is that guy getting on with!". I probably posted things that others didn't like as well. The way I see it is most of us  are adults and we agree to disagree.

Also, we are from different parts of the world  and we all see things differently. An American in the Bible belt will see things differently than a Canadian like myself who is from Newfoundland where Canadians are known for being polite and Newfoundlanders are known for their hospitality (If anyone in here came to my door, I'd invite you in to have a cup of tea and some toast or cookies and snacks).

Also, it's too bad that the Theology Realm got locked. I sometimes would read some comments on different topics and found the interesting. To be honest, to this day after reading the various views I don't know what category of beliefs I fall under regarding Reformer, Calvinist, Lutheran, or whatever. All I know is I believe in the trinity of equal members of the God Head with each having different roles being active in salvation of believers. I don't believe that God elects people to be saved. Salvation is open to everyone but God knows in the end who will respond by accepting, believing, confessing and repenting.

In addition, not everyone here are Christians and those who are Christians should respect their decision to not be a Christian. We also have varying beliefs in God here from my impressions from Atheism to full on bible believing Christians. We as Christians need to be more accountable to ourselves and watch what we say.

I was going to post something regarding some current events and Bible prophecy to get some feedback and I don't know where to post it now with the Theology Realm locked. I have noticed I haven't seen a few members here in a while like God's Wizard, Daniel Band Fan and a couple of ladies. I hope they didn't leave here because they didn't like some of the things that were said.

With all this said, I hope we can all put our differences aside and get along better. I would like to see the Theology Realm unlocked.

Soldier777 wrote:
With all this said, I hope we can all put our differences aside and get along better. I would like to see the Theocracy Realm unlocked.

We have a Theocracy Realm?

Samson, don't get excited, I meant Theology Realm.