Worst (attempted) rhymes you've heard in songs?

A while ago I was listening to Laying the Demon to Rest by Theocracy. Great song and all, but they actually try to rhyme flesh with rest. I guess it kind of works, but not really. Any other painful rhymes you've heard (not just in metal, but songs in general)?

I think it's some sort of requirement for every band ever, but any time I hear "fire" and "desire" together I cringe and shudder a bit.

It always annoys me when bands rhyme a word with the same word.

The rhyme was pretty good, but the lyrics are so cheesy that I just can't help but laugh when I hear the classic rock staple from Steve Miller.

Abra abra cadabra.  I wanna reach out and grab ya.

Here's a funny one I've seen with some of the old hymns we sing at church: the words will be spelled very similarly, but are not pronounced anywhere near the same.  I can't think of any specific hymns to use as examples, but it's stuff like "shone" and "gone," or "through" and "trough."

I know it's different words but it bugs me.
Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses

Kerrick wrote:Here's a funny one I've seen with some of the old hymns we sing at church: the words will be spelled very similarly, but are not pronounced anywhere near the same.  I can't think of any specific hymns to use as examples, but it's stuff like "shone" and "gone," or "through" and "trough."

I sing from the 1650 Scottish Psalter in private worship and there is a lot of that there too. Maybe those words rhymed to people centuries ago, but they don't to me! Lol

My favorite of all time is this from the Pitbull song "Give Me Everything":

Me not workin' hard? Yeah right
Picture that with a Kodak
Or, better yet, go to Times Square
Take a picture of me with a Kodak

I am not a Pitbull fan but this was a bit of a meme and I think it's amazing.

CrimsonWarrior wrote:My favorite of all time is this from the Pitbull song "Give Me Everything":

Me not workin' hard? Yeah right
Picture that with a Kodak
Or, better yet, go to Times Square
Take a picture of me with a Kodak

I am not a Pitbull fan but this was a bit of a meme and I think it's amazing.

I think about that lyric all the time. And I laugh every time.

Staybrite wrote:The rhyme was pretty good, but the lyrics are so cheesy that I just can't help but laugh when I hear the classic rock staple from Steve Miller.

Abra abra cadabra.  I wanna reach out and grab ya.

Speaking of Mr. Miller, here's one from Take the Money and Run that Dave Barry pointed out:

Now Billy Mack is a detective, down in Texas
You know he knows, what the facts is.
He's not gonna let those two escape justice
He gets his living off other people's taxes

There are so many cheesy lyrics....

One that stands out to me as completely nonsensical has to be from ELP "Karn Evil 9 Part 2" (What is a "Karn Evil" anyway?   And where was Part 1?  Or Karn Evils 1 through 8?  OY VEY):

Performing on a stool,
We've a sight to make you drool,
Seven virgins and a mule,
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.

...They must have been high on something, but I know not what.

That viral song, "Jesus is a Friend of Mine" has the cheesiest rhymes.

He taught me how to live my life as it should be
He taught me how to turn my cheek when people laugh at me
I've had friends before and I can tell you that
He's one who will never leave you flat

Once I tried to run; I tried to run and hide
But Jesus came and found me and He touched me down inside
He is like a Mounty; He always gets His man
And He'll zap you any way He can ... ZAP!

Kerrick wrote:Here's a funny one I've seen with some of the old hymns we sing at church: the words will be spelled very similarly, but are not pronounced anywhere near the same.  I can't think of any specific hymns to use as examples, but it's stuff like "shone" and "gone," or "through" and "trough."

This is what you're looking for: at one time, come and home did rhyme...

Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come
This grace that brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home

I Am is one of my top 5 Theocracy songs of all time. But it also contains one of Matt's cheesiest rhymes:

I am the author of order and flow
I am the Father of Lights; watch me put on a show

Anything at all by Manowar, but "Die for Metal" has the line 'I need metal in my life like an eagle needs to fly'. Yeesh

LOVE this thread....

I'll start with G and R  "Patience"

You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, I'll never break it
'Cause I can't take it

Poetic genius.

And you can’t fake it.

I listen to power metal so I can't say that I have much experience with bad rhymes.

Hahahaha

Here's some Twilight Force
"Twilight Horizon"

The darkness is falling
The winds of the power are calling
We fly on the wings of fate
Towards the gate of shadow

Now, we're on our way
The fate of the world is in our hands
The stars will lead us, never deceive us
On our quest for glory

Ride into the night
So far from the light
There is a power we must fight
To rid the shadows from our lands

I was sure Vengeance Rising had some cheesy rhymes, and when I checked them out this morning I discovered that they don't even try to rhyme half the time!

I see what you did there.

Black Rider wrote:I see what you did there.

Now I see as well.

Black Rider wrote:Here's some Twilight Force
"Twilight Horizon"

The darkness is falling
The winds of the power are calling
We fly on the wings of fate
Towards the gate of shadow

Now, we're on our way
The fate of the world is in our hands
The stars will lead us, never deceive us
On our quest for glory

Ride into the night
So far from the light
There is a power we must fight
To rid the shadows from our lands

Shakespeare-tier goodness