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Asking for prayer and advice

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Asking for prayer and advice Empty Asking for prayer and advice

Post by Sting Chameleon Tue 5 Feb 2013 - 13:35

This is gonna be a long one. And I know this might sound silly, like people have WAY worse problems than this, and they do. I acknowledge I'm only 22 years old and I guess the reality of the world is sort of hitting me, but I'd ask that you bear with me, read through it and give me you opinions.

Starting this off with 1 Corinthians 5:9-13

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” ~ 1 Cor. 5:9-13

I think this is particularly accurate for me right now. Before going in, it's worth mentioning that I am a musician and I'm working at letting that be a part of making my living.

There's a person in my life who used to be a pretty good friend of mine. We played together in a band for about 2 or 3 years and had some incredibly fun times. We were both believers and after a while the band had sort of fallen apart and around the time where that was beginning to happen he fell into some bad things.

He ripped off my friends, he was a constant party-goer would often get drunk and have sex with different women, started smoking pot... you get the idea.

Time passes and I have little to do with him. I see him occasionally because of another band I had joined, of course they were always high or drunk or both and I'm no longer in that (that's a whole other story though), but lately he called me up and we sat down and had dinner. He explained to me that he knew he messed up and he wants to apologize to everyone he'd wronged. I feel like "great! we can hang out like old times." I've been trying to get another band off the ground for a while and he had asked if there would be a spot for him.

I can't tell you how much that excites me. When we played together before we were relatively successful on a local level. There's a certain mutual feeling between us where we get things done when we work together. A few times I've gotten together with him recently and things start happening and it's like... It's great... It's like this partner is what I've been musically missing.

So... I'm at his place and we're working on some stuff and his roommates throw a party. He's less than pleased with this for a few reasons so he asks if I want to go hang out with someone else with him. We go over to a mutual acquaintance's place. Now, I acknowledge this probably wasn't the best of plans. I knew this guy we were going to see is probably not the best person in the world for Christians to be spending time with. I screwed up.
We get there and the scene's not much different. But, I'm relatively proud of my friend at first. He's not drinking heavily like he used to and he's really just talking to some people. Awkward as crap for me though. I HATE this scene, but I agreed to go there >.> Eventually we get out of there but not without my friend taking some girl home with him and letting me know with all certainty what he intended to do when he got there.

Anyway I let him know that I didn't like anything that went down. He knows how I feel about everything but, I didn't say much more than that. I leave and that's that.

Now... The problem is he claims to be a believer, and he JUST TOLD ME THAT HE WANTS TO APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE!!! I would assume he wants to change his old habits to some degree ya know?

He used to be a really close friend. My parents took him in for about 5 months a couple of years ago when he had some family problems and later we moved into an apartment together. We were pretty close, like any friends we had arguments, but a lot of really good times.

So... if he's not willing to change what am I supposed to do? He needs to decide what he believes and he needs to at least try to follow those beliefs. I mean I'm not perfect, I screw up time and time again, but it's like this guy doesn't even care.

I've decided I need to tell him what's up and that I don't think I can spend time with him if he doesn't get his life back in line, but man I really don't want to lose this guy. I know it sounds silly but, he's like my partner with music. We both acknowledged how well we work together and that's really something I don't want to lose.

Maybe I'm venting more than anything else, but I want to follow what God wants, and my concern is that I have to give my friend an ultimatum to do that.
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Post by unworthy Tue 5 Feb 2013 - 13:56

sounds like you've already decided what you need to do. I would agree that you need to do it for several reasons. I know it's hard but he will only drag you down. If you want the blessings of God on your musical ministry you cannot allow sin to be a welcomed part of it because God will not bless sin.. there is much more to an effective ministry/living in the music industry than someone with whom you work well.
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Post by Gandalf the White Wed 6 Feb 2013 - 6:18

The other thing is this: if this dude is really your friend, he will appreciate you confronting him and holding him accountable. If he's willingly sinning and not trying to reform from it, he needs to be told.

If course, this should be done in love.

The other thing I thought of was that while he may be your musical partner, if he continues down this path, eventually you may get sucked into it.

I'm 32 and when I was your age (oh, crap! Did I really just say that!?!?) my best friend and best man in my wedding was a guy that claimed to be a believer but who partied and all that. I thought I could "save him" or whatever but really he just dragged me back into the cloudy world of alcoholism and not getting along with my wife.

Just pray about it dude. IF you seek God above all else, He'll show you what to do.
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Post by Mrs Kuba Wed 6 Feb 2013 - 17:09

unworthy wrote:sounds like you've already decided what you need to do. I would agree that you need to do it for several reasons. I know it's hard but he will only drag you down. If you want the blessings of God on your musical ministry you cannot allow sin to be a welcomed part of it because God will not bless sin.. there is much more to an effective ministry/living in the music industry than someone with whom you work well.

I agree

Praying
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