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Had A Very Interesting Day...

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Post by MegaNorm64 Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:21 am

Hey, so I wasn't sure where to put this. Sorry if I put it in the wrong subforum!

So, I have been struggling in my faith a lot for a while. I've kind of grown to really hate the toxicity in the church, and I eventually started to feel that the only reason that the majority of Christians go to church is because they are scared to go to Hell. They don't want to praise God just to praise and love Him, but they go because they don't want to burn. Instead of being a good person for the sake of being a good person, they're being good because they're scared of Satan and Hell, which I guess makes sense, but it just makes me feel like people at church actually don't really give a diddly doo about me or anyone except themselves and only pretend that they do.

That's just me battling my own demons though. Lately, I feel like I have been getting called to God again. I've been thinking a lot about the church, and how I do miss the days I used to go, and I have been listening to Christian tunes every now and then again. I was actually on the bus today when I was listening to some worship when an intoxicated man stared at me as we got off the bus. I took 3 steps to go and walk to wherever I was going to when he stops me. He stops me and asked if I believed in God, in which I replied that I do. This man then walked up to me and started talking about how he had a life sentence and was shot 17 times when he was younger. He told me stories of his involvement in gangs and how the only reason he is alive is because God saved him from death. I was actually kind of fascinated. He went on about how some people shouldn't turn others away just because they look different because that person could just be some type of guardian angel. He told me how his life as a black man was jacked up, and how he had to go through so many struggles to get to where he was today. He was extremely interesting and pretty intoxicated. When we parted, he told me he loved me and asked God to bless me.

I walked away somewhat puzzled. I was like, isn't it a coincidence that for weeks, I've been feeling like I have been getting called to get closer to God and when on the bus, while listening to worship music, I got stopped by this guy. It was almost like, I was supposed to meet and talk to him. I just thought I would share this because, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the experience and thought it was really neat. I wonder where I'm going to be led to in these upcoming weeks.
MegaNorm64
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Post by Constantine Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:31 am

You're not alone in your disappointment with the modern church.  There are many of us who find it lacking for many reasons.  But thankfully God is much bigger than the church, and one does not have to abandon seeking and following God just because the church and the people in it disappointment us.  Ultimately we are all a collection of broken people who are very imperfect, which is why we need God and His salvation in the first place.  Hopefully you have some Christian friends who you can pray and fellowship with, but if not, there are many of us out here on the internet that you can hang out with, at least virtually.   Thanks for sharing your story.
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Post by Frozen Fire Sat Mar 27, 2021 7:43 am

Thank you for sharing! Thankfully I grew up in a pretty healthy church environment and the church I lead now has a small, loving, honest atmosphere. If you can find a small group of honest faithful people I think you'll be encouraged at how truly rewarding Christian fellowship can be. I've spent some of the best times in house church atmospheres and intimate gatherings. I hope you've had some experiences like that in the past to guide your way. If not, I will pray God opens those doors. It's pretty obvious God's doing something in your life right now. Though our stories are different I was drawn to God at age 30 after my heart had walked away over many years. There is change and better available. "You'll seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" Jer 29:13. God is clearly seeking you in these days, be encouraged! As you seek in response, I'll pray you are blessed.

Thank you for being a blessing. I needed to hear this today.
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