Please pray for me...

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by sentient 6 on Mon May 09, 2016 3:58 pm

Still will be praying for you Thomas....

The only thing that brings me hope and comfort in my trials is the Word of God. It is there ( and prayer of course ) that the Spirit brings life, hope and perseverance to my soul.

...if its been awhile ( or if you never have ) see what the Book of Job can speak to your heart and mind.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Thu May 12, 2016 6:52 pm

Slight change of plans for my catheter. Its getting pulled tomorrow.
If I STILL can't pee on my own, I got to go in to my urologist and get another one. If I still can't pee after a week, they've got to run a scope up there to see what the problem is. (I really don't want a scope up my pee hole.)

Please pray that I can pee tomorrow! PLEASE!!!
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Guest on Thu May 12, 2016 6:54 pm

Too much bad news at this time  No praying

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by KaramKaram on Thu May 12, 2016 7:24 pm

Praying for you brother

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Sat May 14, 2016 10:42 am

I still have to strain too much to pee and it's taking a toll. Went to ER and got another catheter placed. I really wish I didn't have to get these - they really hurt when they're put in.

How much does it hurt? My voice feels a little sore after doing back to back black metal vocal tracks for an hour or so. My voice is completely THROWN and RAW from screaming the 3 minutes it takes to put a catheter in. ...and that's with Urojet. (Lidocaine in the peehole before they shove in a hose the width of a number 2 pencil)
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Guest on Sun May 15, 2016 11:00 am

We imagine, hoping all is going to be better...

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by KaramKaram on Sun May 15, 2016 11:51 am

I can't even imagine what you are going through but I have not cease praying for your totally recovery my friend.

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Thu May 19, 2016 5:32 pm

In my oncology appointment today, they voiced that they would prefer to start my IV Chemotherapy in one month. While it's my decision, I'm leaning toward having the reversal surgery completed first. (Because of all the problems I've had with my ostomy. I don't want to put up with 6 more months of problems during chemo.)

Three major concerns:
If there is an undetected/microscopic amount of cancer in my body, it will grow until I start chemo.
They'll do a barium enema before the surgery to make sure there's no leak. If there is a leak, that could mean ANOTHER surgery to repair it, or I could have an ostomy for the rest of my life anyway.
One side effect of the chemo is PERMANENT nerve damage in my hands, which could mean good bye to me being a drummer.

Prayers please. My anxiety is high because of this.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Blake on Thu May 19, 2016 5:55 pm

Will pray
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by KaramKaram on Thu May 19, 2016 6:35 pm

Praying brother

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Kerrick on Fri May 20, 2016 6:01 am

I have been praying for you and will continue to!

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Fri May 20, 2016 10:17 am

I got to thinking of a question last night.

They want me to do 6 months of chemo because there *maybe* undetectable microscopic cancer cells. ...but *maybe* also means there may not even be cancer there and it is really gone.

Why put myself through 6 more months of crap for something that may not even be there?
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Kerrick on Fri May 20, 2016 10:33 am

What would be the alternative?  What happens if you go for regular checkups and at some point something "detectable" is there?  Would that put you in a much worse/riskier place than if you had just nuked 'em all from the get-go?

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Guest on Sat May 21, 2016 10:07 am

Kerrick wrote:What would be the alternative?  What happens if you go for regular checkups and at some point something "detectable" is there?  Would that put you in a much worse/riskier place than if you had just nuked 'em all from the get-go?
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Sat May 21, 2016 5:43 pm

I called my case manager for Health Alliance (that's my insurance) and I figured they wouldn't want to pay for something that's potentially unnecessary, but they're all for me getting the IV chemo. I used the analogy that a 6 month intense procedure for something that's not even there is like trying to hang up a picture on a wall with a sledgehammer.
She described it that the surgery was the direct spray to kill wasps, but I need a wide spray (chemo) around the empty nests to make sure they don't come back.

I can see the importance of it now, but I still think 6 months is too much spray. I know my wife will back me up on this too. I might try to negotiate 90 days or 4 months instead of half a year.
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Got my wound vac on this morning. My wife mentioned it to my surgeon the last appointment I had and he was all for it.

I'm glad it will heal this wound faster, but it's weird. I've got to lug around this machine that does this goofy abstract beeping.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Guest on Sun May 22, 2016 5:45 pm

Hope for you Thomas, keep us informed :/

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Wed May 25, 2016 1:50 pm

Dye to check where my colon was reattached is scheduled June 1st. Surgery to reverse the ileostomy is scheduled June 15th.

Good thing too. Going through a month's supply of bags in 3 days because they don't stick is too much to keep doing. I don't have skin around my stoma anymore. It's just meat and it's excruciatingly painful.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by KaramKaram on Thu May 26, 2016 6:57 am

Still praying for you brother

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Sun May 29, 2016 10:57 am

Another void trial aka "Can Tom actually pee this time" on Tuesday. NOT looking forward to it.
I suspect that something got rearranged to the point of causing permanent damage during my surgery, and that's why I haven't been able to urinate myself without extreme straining. ....that being said, I can expect another Foley catheter that day, and then a dick scope after that.

I'd rather get mugged at knife point.

Been having regular bowel movements since Saturday. That's right. All of a sudden, after over a month of pooping in a bag, I have to go poop like a regular person as well.
Makes no effin' sense.

I'm sure most of you have noticed that the things I post regarding my conditions, my attitude about it is 99.93785% negative... well, things came to a head last night, for my wife. About 8pm, I had my 3rd ostomy bag of the day start leaking. The 4th and 5th bags started leaking before my wound dressing could be completed. So, they lasted like 3 minutes each and it takes an hour plus to setup and get one on.
Here I am, 11:30pm at night, after filling trash cans with failed attempts, after bathing in my own sewage, just standing in a shower with no bag no nothing, neither of us knowing what to do.

She's mad at herself (because she can't fix it) and she's mad at God (because he's allowing me to suffer, I guess).

Made me really think of my own breaking point, you know? I've thought of killing myself way more since late April than I ever did in the depths of my alcoholism, over 10 years ago. I swear having extremely intense pain every. single. day., day. after. day., it. never. stops. is going to eventually give me PTSD.

Just because I'll always love God doesn't mean that I won't always resent him for all of this. I'm definitely balancing on the fringes of "Who cares if I'm cancer free. Who cares if piles of people are behind me and praying for me if I'm SUFFERING - EVERY DAY - MORE than anyone else I know, and it never stops!"

"Well, the pain from the bags will stop after the surgery" - yeah, but all new pain will come in.

I know this wreaks of being entitled, but God is totally coming across like a "can but won't" kind of guy right now. I'm not Job - I will BREAK. I can't keep doing this!!!! I feel like I'm totally drowning here, and God, holding a life preserver says "I'll allow it. He's strong enough.". NO I'M NOT.

Man, if I did that to someone, I'd be a total dick.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Devon Hill on Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:46 am

That sounds horrible Thomas.  I'm sorry you are having to go through this.  I don't know if this will be helpful or not, but this is what came to my mind after reading the portion of "why is God allowing this", so I thought I'd share.  I don't know if the same thing happens to you very much or not, but there are many times I'll be talking to someone (my wife as an example), and I think I'm communicating something clearly, but it is not clearly being communicated at all.  Or if she says something to me, I hear it in a completely different way.  This is a very common occurrence.  We are people that know each other well (I would know her better than any other person on earth), and we are communicating face to face - and yet there is still so much miscommunication and misunderstanding of what each of us says.

If that level of  misunderstanding can happen in that scenario with talking face to face to a person you know the best in the world, imagine what could happen with God.  Not only does He not speak to us face to face, but there is also the devil who is trying to constantly twist things and get us thinking lies too.  With my wife, there would be times as a hypothetical example, I could say "I thought you were going to get milk at the store" and be upset because she didn't.  But if I knew the story of why she wasn't able to get it (let's say the store was out of milk), I would understand the reason so much clearer.   Many times someone will come and bring an accusation to a person, and in our mind we would think "wait a minute - that is not true.  I tried my hardest to get the milk but they just don't know the story of why I couldn't get it and are only looking at the fact I didn't get it".  Commonly this happens between two humans.

In terms of with God, we as humans are on a completely different level.  It is sometimes very difficult to know why things happen.  Obviously we live in a world of sin, disease, death, and horrible things, and while God could just set us free of it all if He wanted to, ultimately we still have to deal with it.  We don't understand it sometimes, and honestly I think it's somewhat like the miscommunication analogy between a spouse - but on a completely different level since we can't just hear God speak to us like a human does.

God is with you, and he does care.  We don't know the details of what is happening in the spiritual realm behind all this, so sometimes it can seem like God is not helping, but He is a good God who has your best interests at heart.  My prayer is that God will comfort you and reveal his love and wisdom to you during this time.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by d@v!d on Thu Jun 02, 2016 8:41 am

ThomasEversole wrote:Another void trial....
I appreciate your candor. Most people wouldn't admit when they are weak. I'll pray for your heart.
Devon Hill wrote:That sounds horrible Thomas.  I'm sorry you are having to go through this.  I don't know if this will be helpful or not, but ...
Good words.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Wed Jun 08, 2016 1:28 pm

Nice post Devon. I firmly believe that nothing happens in God's world by mistake.

When I got divorced from my first wife, at the time, I didn't know why that happened. I now know it's so I can be a better husband to my current wife.
When I was job hunting for something better last year, I didn't understand why I got shot down multiple times. I now know that's because a new job wouldn't put up with all the cancer crap I'm going through. My current job is letting me take all the time I need and even held a fundraiser for me.

I don't know why I'm unlucky enough to get a cancer found in 70 year old men. I'm sure I'll know the reason why one day, but as for now and not knowing - it feels like I'm being kicked while I'm down.

My port gets surgically installed this afternoon. Please pray that the operation goes smoothly.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by d@v!d on Wed Jun 08, 2016 2:01 pm

ThomasEversole wrote:Nice post Devon. I firmly believe that nothing happens in God's world by mistake.

When I got divorced from my first wife, at the time, I didn't know why that happened. I now know it's so I can be a better husband to my current wife.
When I was job hunting for something better last year, I didn't understand why I got shot down multiple times. I now know that's because a new job wouldn't put up with all the cancer crap I'm going through. My current job is letting me take all the time I need and even held a fundraiser for me.

I don't know why I'm unlucky enough to get a cancer found in 70 year old men. I'm sure I'll know the reason why one day, but as for now and not knowing - it feels like I'm being kicked while I'm down.

My port gets surgically installed this afternoon. Please pray that the operation goes smoothly.
Will do.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Wed Jun 08, 2016 5:26 pm

The surgery went fine. Pain is moderate. Time to go home, relax and manage pain after eating something. Haven't eaten since last night per doctor orders.

Another surgery down, one more to go...
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by KaramKaram on Wed Jun 08, 2016 5:27 pm

Get well soon brother, we are praying for you daily

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:42 pm

Thank you.

I woke up from my nap in a lot of pain. I'll have to temporarily go back to my original pain medication dose.

I'm also really cold and hope I'm not getting sick or dehydrated...
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Tue Jun 14, 2016 11:14 am

My 3rd and hopefully final surgery is tomorrow morning. Please pray that everything goes well.

I'll be glad actually, because tomorrow is the last day I'll have a poop sack. It's nasty and painful so life will be much easier without it.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Guest on Tue Jun 14, 2016 11:37 am

Good luck Thomas, we are still praying for you.

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by exo on Tue Jun 14, 2016 12:48 pm

Hope things go well for you!

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Wed Jun 15, 2016 9:45 pm

Bad news:  
- I came to after surgery in so much pain.  Like, I could barely talk and breathe.  That poor nurse was running around like a chicken with her head cut off, giving me as much dilaudid and fentanyl as she was allowed.  One hour felt like half a day with that much pain.

That's the end of the bad news.   Twisted Evil

Good news:  
- That port is freaking AMAZING.  Before surgery, I was speaking with my anesthetist and didn't even realize they drew blood and started an IV.  I thought they were just getting started, but they were done!  So much easier and less painful.
- My pain is now under much better control.  MUCH better.  
- NO CATHETER.  I hate those things getting taken out too, and I was able to pee, a little bit.  I don't feel like I need to pee, which is a little strange...
- My surgeon said that my procedure was "textbook".  In other words, it went as well as it possibly could have.
- They were hoping I'd be able enough to get up and walk tomorrow, but since pain is moderate, I actually got out of my bed and walked FOR 20 MINUTES.  Actually ended up JOGGING a little bit.  I knew that ostomy always hurt, but I didn't realize how much until that burden was lifted.

- First and foremost, I feel uplifted spiritually.  I'll say it - today was the happiest I've been in weeks.  I'm DONE with surgery.  I'm almost done with cancer treatment.  A HUGE nasty inconvenience is literally cut out of my life.  I have a new lease on living and I want to get back in shape (gain back strength and weight).  I want to go back to work.  I want to get back to writing music!

...and with a little time, there's nothing to stop me from those!

I have prayed quite a bit today.  Like the typical prayer theme through most of my cancer journey usually starts with "please help and guide me" and ends with "Thank you and I love you."  God is totally awesome and I'm getting together a list of things I want to do for Him.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Guest on Thu Jun 16, 2016 4:28 am

That's amazing Smile

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Kerrick on Thu Jun 16, 2016 5:21 am

cheers Wow such great news!!!  I've been thinking about and praying for you constantly and and I am so glad to hear this!!!  Praise God!

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by d@v!d on Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:45 am

ThomasEversole wrote:Bad news:  
- I came to after surgery in so much pain.  Like, I could barely talk and breathe.  That poor nurse was running around like a chicken with her head cut off, giving me as much dilaudid and fentanyl as she was allowed.  One hour felt like half a day with that much pain.

That's the end of the bad news.   Twisted Evil

Good news:  
- That port is freaking AMAZING.  Before surgery, I was speaking with my anesthetist and didn't even realize they drew blood and started an IV.  I thought they were just getting started, but they were done!  So much easier and less painful.
- My pain is now under much better control.  MUCH better.  
- NO CATHETER.  I hate those things getting taken out too, and I was able to pee, a little bit.  I don't feel like I need to pee, which is a little strange...
- My surgeon said that my procedure was "textbook".  In other words, it went as well as it possibly could have.
- They were hoping I'd be able enough to get up and walk tomorrow, but since pain is moderate, I actually got out of my bed and walked FOR 20 MINUTES.  Actually ended up JOGGING a little bit.  I knew that ostomy always hurt, but I didn't realize how much until that burden was lifted.

- First and foremost, I feel uplifted spiritually.  I'll say it - today was the happiest I've been in weeks.  I'm DONE with surgery.  I'm almost done with cancer treatment.  A HUGE nasty inconvenience is literally cut out of my life.  I have a new lease on living and I want to get back in shape (gain back strength and weight).  I want to go back to work.  I want to get back to writing music!

...and with a little time, there's nothing to stop me from those!

I have prayed quite a bit today.  Like the typical prayer theme through most of my cancer journey usually starts with "please help and guide me" and ends with "Thank you and I love you."  God is totally awesome and I'm getting together a list of things I want to do for Him.
I'm so glad! God is indeed good!
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by exo on Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:49 am

FANTASTIC!!!!

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by KaramKaram on Thu Jun 16, 2016 12:08 pm

AWESOME NEWS!!! 
I am sharing this right now with my wife as she has been praying for you daily with a prayer group from church that gathers all nights at home. My wife was in tears of joy while Inwas sharing the news and shout: I TOLD YOU!!! GOD IS ANSWERING PRAYERS!!!

Thanks for sharing brother news like this are uplifting for us. God is helping us too!!!

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Thu Jun 16, 2016 7:31 pm

I think I spoke too soon on this hospital visit. I think I'm getting sick. I can't get warm, even with hot blankets on me and my voice is hoarse. I pee and fart a lot, but no poop yet.

I'm expecting to be here maybe some of the weekend. Worse than getting used to urine being in a bladder is getting used to feces in intestines. I've had two meals and I just feel bloated and like it's stuck in me.

All I can really do is push fluids and keep eating in hopes that turds get expelled.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:20 pm

My surgeon seemed to think it was a good sign I was hungry and passing gas. I'm in too much pain though. Pain management is one of those go home factors, and I was in denial, thinking I was a 5, when really I was a 10.
Now it seems like torture/forever waiting for all the legal hoops to approve more pain management...

Sucks to be me. I really shot myself in the foot here...
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:26 pm

KaramKaram wrote:AWESOME NEWS!!! 
I am sharing this right now with my wife as she has been praying for you daily with a prayer group from church that gathers all nights at home. My wife was in tears of joy while Inwas sharing the news and shout: I TOLD YOU!!! GOD IS ANSWERING PRAYERS!!!

Thanks for sharing brother news like this are uplifting for us. God is helping us too!!!

I'm glad to hear you're getting help and thank you again for the prayers. I'm so glad my wife is a nurse. All this pain management is coming out of the woodwork to help!
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Thu Jun 16, 2016 11:39 pm

...obviously, when I mentioned moderate pain, I was on a dilauded pump. It got much worse trying to go from that to 1 7.5mg Norco every 6 hours.

My surgeon agreed to 2 pills every 4 hours, but never put the order in.

I'm calling my case manager tomorrow for my insurance on how my caregivers really dropped the ball.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Fri Jun 17, 2016 3:45 pm

I'm out of the hospital and ready to start recovering. So glad to be reversed and that I can eat normal things again.
Had a few complaints about my hospital experience, so I'm following up with their patient advocate about it. Things like an absence in necessary pain management on multiple occasions, this tech that didn't know what she was doing (her words); who dropped a pressure cuff on my face and took my temperature without the sanitation sleeve. She shoved the metal so far in my mouth I almost gagged.
I think things like that need reported - then I'll be done and moving on from that, on to happier things.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Guest on Fri Jun 17, 2016 4:57 pm

We wish you the best now, thanks God and still praying for your recovery Smile

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:14 am

One of the patient advocates called me back after I left a message. They're going to investigate and file a grievance in regards to what I complained about.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by Kerrick on Sun Jun 19, 2016 10:27 am

Oh good.  I sure wouldn't wish what you experienced upon anyone...

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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Wed Jun 29, 2016 9:37 pm

Haven't been doing very well lately. All I want to do is sleep and apart from restroom trips, I've done so almost 24 hours straight.

My pain is worse than when I first came home. Probably some of that is it a hard to take my meds every 6 hours when I'm sleeping. ...The other is I see hints of infection. (It's not full blown, but I see hints of it.)
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Wed Jul 06, 2016 11:34 am

I start my chemo on Monday. Being that my birthday is in a few days, it kind of feels like "Happy birthday, here's some needles and poison."

I really don't want to permanently lose the feeling in my hands... which can happen with the type of chemo they want to give me. That would mean goodbye to being a musician.

My doctor told me that again today...
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by d@v!d on Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:10 pm

ThomasEversole wrote:I start my chemo on Monday. Being that my birthday is in a few days, it kind of feels like "Happy birthday, here's some needles and poison."

I really don't want to permanently lose the feeling in my hands... which can happen with the type of chemo they want to give me. That would mean goodbye to being a musician.

My doctor told me that again today...
Ugh!...

Sorry to hear this.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Mon Jul 11, 2016 10:18 am

I just signed this thing saying that I'm aware that this chemo can CAUSE cancer. That's crazy.

I'll have a needle in my chest giving me this stuff until Wednesday. At least they gave my wife a kit so she can uninstall the pump herself.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Mon Jul 11, 2016 12:54 pm

Kinda depressing that on this chemo ward, I'm the youngest patient by 20-30 years I'm guessing...
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Mon Jul 11, 2016 2:23 pm

That cold sensitivity they told me about is BRUTAL. Took a swig of my unsweetened tea after it sat in ice for a while and it felt like I swallowed 9 thumb-tacs.

I get why they put so much emphasis on room temperature drinks.
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Re: Please pray for me...

Post by ThomasEversole on Mon Jul 11, 2016 10:46 pm

Figured out something that's actually good about chemo. Flys and mosquitos won't come near me. My wife and I were both sweating while jogging at the park (been exercising a lot lately) and they were eating her alive, but wouldn't even land on me. I've never had that happen in my life.

That being said, they told my wife and I today that we need to wash our clothes separately. If I wash my sweaty shirt with her clothes while this is coming out of my pores, it could make Kaytlyn sick. Sad
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Re: Please pray for me...

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